MIND

Inside, I could not find my way out
The journey began in some place
Can’t remember when or where
Can we remember the 1st place our life started at?
We all know from the pictures & the stories our families tell us
We know our date of birth & our first actions
But what is our 1st memory of our life?
What was our first dream?
What was our first hope?
Our first joy?
I could not find the way out
The wires where every were around
I could not see them clearly
They were all around
I could not touch them
They were all around
I could not sense them
The wires were all around
When you can see something clearly, you can identify it, locate it & take an action towards how it makes you feel
But when its all around, you can sense it, it diffuses your vision, it eliminates your focus
You are confused
I can see something or someone, still its not clear
You try to focus
To turn the lens around to get better focus
You wish you had an auto focus feature like the new digital cameras
But you don’t
It started somewhere
Long ago
You don’t know what it is, but it doesn’t stop
I walk through the wires
And I realize
Although they are confusing me
They are mine
All mine
It’s the only place I own
No one can tell me what color should they be, or how they are arranged
They are confusing me
I don’t know their color or how they are arranged
But the are mine…and mine alone
And they confuse me
All our wires come from different places
Some are Chinese; some are labeled MADE IN TAIWAN
Mostly they are American European
In Lebanon we like them French
So we make them French, even if they are MADE IN TAIWAN
But they come from different places & from different times
So u cant say my wire is this or that
It’s a collective wire, gathered from unfinished pieces
Our collective memories which constitutes my elastic life
They are not in a sequence
You have one memory or something (call it your 1st memory)
You don’t have 2nd memory that reflects the second day or the second life
Your memories of your conscious life have countries, time gaps years & oceans to cross between them
Your one true life is a sub-product of your life
A collection of distant memories
That combines my one full elastic memory of you
I am special; I can talk about my wires
No one else from the people I know can
I can describe my wires
Everyone knows I have them
They have a smell, a taste & a visual of their wires
They remember how was it when that wire was installed at that moment
I can’t
All I can have from my wires is the feeling I have when I look at them
Not at them
But at the diffusion they create
They can’t see the diffusion and the mess they are creating
But my confusion is mine
All mine
But they wonder, and I wonder


MIND